Ray’s Rants of the Week

Way back in my eighth post, around two years ago now, I talked about things in traffic that piss me off. Something related to this that really gets me angry is the whole deal with pedestrians.

It’s not people crossing the street in general that make my blood boil. It’s the fact that it seems that many traffic laws are centered around pedestrians, and that whenever someone gets run over by a car, no matter whose fault it is, the driver is almost universally blamed for it. Say you’re driving down the road. You’re doing everything right: you’re not on your phone (never advised while driving), you’re at or under the speed limit, you’re watching out. From out of nowhere, a kid darts out into the street chasing his ball. You slam on the brakes, but unfortunately can’t stop in time, since you were already on top of the kid when he appeared from out of the blue. I hope this never happens, but even under these conditions, why is the driver nearly every time cited? It wasn’t the driver’s fault. He tried to stop and wasn’t breaking any laws. The kid ran into the street without regard for oncoming traffic. Wouldn’t it be the kid’s fault, or at the very least the driver not be cited for anything?

How many times do you see someone running across the street, but not at the intersection? In most places, that is called jaywalking, and can cause the person to be cited. Hey, you stupid doofus, that’s why there’s a goddamned crosswalk! Just because you’re walking along the road rather than driving, you’re still required to follow traffic laws. You’re supposed to cross at an intersection (whether or not there’s an actual painted crosswalk), and even then, watch for oncoming traffic. If the sign has the little white dude lit up, go ahead and cross. If the hand is flashing or solid, don’t start. Wait for the next light🤚. Those things used to say “walk” or “don’t walk” but since not everyone can read (hell, even those who are supposedly literate can’t fucking read), they now have a little person or hand. Some crosswalks, in addition to the symbol, have a countdown to when the light is changing. Dear Pedestrian, do us all a favor and use the brain God gave you and have some sense when crossing the street, would you please? 🛑

Recently, with the ubiquity of smartphones (and the corresponding dumb people) and social media, music streaming and whatnot, there have been many laws passed regarding distracted driving. Some states still allow holding the phone to talk, but prohibit texting, while other states prohibit the driver from even so much as holding a device while driving, whether nor not it is on. I’d be okay, I have my smartwatch to talk on the phone. I don’t have to hold anything—just act like Dick Tracy or James Bond, and talk into my watch. Regardless, most, if not all states, have some kind of distracted driving laws. I’m not against this by any means, but should there not also be laws regarding distracted pedestrians? I mean, how dangerous is it for a person to be walking down the street, eyes glued to Facebook or whatever app, not paying the least attention to their surroundings? Couldn’t that distracted pedestrian easily just waltz into an intersection without noticing the light is against them, and risk getting their ass run over? Or at the very least, couldn’t they walk right into a light pole, trip and fall off the sidewalk, or fall down an open sewer manhole? These last ones could wind up simply being embarrassing, but there could be a danger to someone, nonetheless. I say if you can’t drive distracted, you shouldn’t be able to walk distracted, either.

Something else that irks the hell out of me is parking lots. Just because it’s private property, and most cops won’t issue citations on private property, some people absolutely throw caution to the wind. I’ve seen these jackasses walk down the middle of the driving lane, taking their sweet-ass time. And when they notice the car behind them, they just stay there daring to be run over. If you’re driving, and you’ve already entered the crosswalk in front of the store, the fucking pedestrians think they’re entitled and you should stop on a dime for them. Of course, there’s those old people who take forever to cross, because they can’t walk for shit anymore. But the worst ones are the shit-for-brains who blindly walk, without even looking, like they own the fucking road, glaring at the cars who dare be on the road, as if to say, “Ha! You have to wait for me! You have to let me cross in front of you”. Excuse me, Entitled Fuck, just cross the damned street so I can be on my way🖕🤬.

Sometimes I wish this country could be more like others when it comes to pedestrians. In Brazil, for example, when attempting to cross a busy street, the cars have the right-of-way. If you’re trying to cross, even at an intersection, you’d better be sure it’s clear, and you’d better run, because those cars ain’t gonna stop for you. In the times I’ve visited Brazil, I’ve heard many a story of someone who got their sorry ass run over crossing the street. The United States definitely needs an infusion of common sense when it comes to pedestrians. Let me rephrase that: this country simply needs an infusion of common sense. Period. Full stop. Common sense used to be a blessing. Today, it’s a curse, because you’ve got to deal with all the dumb fucks out there who don’t have it or don’t use it.

Maybe it doesn’t matter why the chicken crossed the street. If the chicken ain’t careful, it’s gonna wind up as roadkill and on Colonel Sanders’ menu 🍗🤣.

Unlike the unfortunate roadkill, whenever you’re out driving or walking, always be aware of your surroundings and don’t be distracted. Your phone is not the be all and end all of life. There’s so much in this world you can’t experience virtually. Do, however, be safe and be well.